Mark Borowiecki goes in detail about mental health struggles

When you think of Nashville Predators' Mark Borowiecki, one of the first thing that comes to mind is his big, goofy, fun loving smile.

At times, however, that smile was masking some serious struggles. The 32-year-old sat down with Adam Vingan of The Athletic and detailed some hard but very real topics in regards to mental health struggles he faced during his first season with the Predators.

In a game on Jan. 30, Borowiecki was a mess in the penalty box after taking a hooking penalty, feeling that he'd let down his teammates, coaches, and family. Shortly after, the Tampa Bay Lightning converted on the power play, and it took its toll on Borowiecki.

«When they scored, it was just a little too much for me to handle,» he explained.

From there, he headed back to his team's dressing room, where he vomited. Shortly after, he returned and fought Patrick Maroon, and this time received an unsportsmanlike penalty for a late punch thrown in the scrap.

«I was just in a very dark place,» Borowiecki said. «I had this urge to hit someone or hurt someone. (It was) an incorrect way to deal with it, for sure. I knew I needed help to get back on track at that point.»

It turns out that Borowiecki suffered a panic attack on that night, though he didn't know it at the time. In fact, for the majority of his 397-game NHL career, he has dealt with an undiagnosed case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which for a long time he believed was just anxiety.

«You see a lot of athletes say, 'I'm my own worst enemy. I'm so hard on myself.' I was hard on myself to the point where it became borderline dangerous,» said Borowiecki. «I was so upset about making an inconsequential mistake in a game that thoughts of taking my own life occurred. It was like, why is that happening?"

«Every guy says this every year – 'This is the best shape I'm in. This is the best I've felt going into camp.' But having put in all this work on the mental side of the game and the mental side of my life, this is the best I've felt. This is the most excited I've been to play hockey, and at 32, I think that's pretty special.»

As mentioned, Borowiecki played in his first season with the Predators in 2020-21 after signing a two-year, $4 million deal last offseason. Prior to joining the Preds, he spent 10 seasons in the Ottawa Senators organization.

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